You Don’t Have to be Angry to Seek Justice

I think most people that know me would not describe me as someone that is angry or easily offended.

The thing is, I’ve been pretty good at keeping those feelings hidden.

I’m realizing now, upon reflection that this has been a massive struggle for me. Who knew?

Being stoic and holding on to those feelings (dismissing them or letting them simmer). I’m now trying to accept & deal with those feelings to become a more mature Christian.

An easy example to share is when I first started to hear stories about kids tricked into sex trafficking, I felt enormous anger (an understatement) toward their pimps.

FLAMING, RED HOT ANGER. Punch someone in the face kind of anger.

Let’s be honest—that’s predictable. I mean, who doesn’t feel angry when you hear stories of pimps tricking kids, right?

I held onto that anger though, gritting my teeth, developing knots in my gut, suffering from headaches, but I also became suspicious.

Assuming the worst about almost every man I met, I would walk into a room, and in my head, be pointing fingers.

I know there are a lot of standup men who would never do this—-most men would never do this. There are good men in this world!

But we should all know that coaches do this, dads do this, teachers do this, doctors do this, not just gang members. Ordinary men living “normal” lives sell and buy childr.

It became difficult to look at men without being angry.

It was unhealthy, and I didn’t want to bring that kind of anger/resentment and negativity into my family.

I also didn’t want to run beLydia motivated by anger.

You don’t have to be angry to seek justice.

I have to choose not to be offended and angry.

Wow is it hard.

I realize that I can tick all the right boxes on being a “good Christian,” but if I’m offended by others, in any situation, I’m spiritually immature.

My goal is not to deny that I feel something (anger, offense, annoyance, hurt) but after acknowledging my feeling, I need to let it go.

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned from Brooke Castillo is to feel my feelings without buffering.

I’m a buffering kind of gal.

Brooke advises to feel them without dismissing them. That means that I’m not stuffing my face with cupcakes, or going to Target and stuffing my basket (or more likely online with Amazon). Maybe you buffer by exercising your feelings away. (I wish!).

When I do those things, I’m not getting rid of those feelings; I’m dragging them along, sometimes for years. They are still in the back seat; I’m just not dealing.

So instead of buffering and doing that, you FEEL them.

How does that work in real life?

Think of an instance when someone hurt you. For example, let’s say you found out someone was trash talking you. If you were close friends, you might feel hurt or disappointed. If it’s a competitor or someone in your field of work, you might be angry.

You’re offended.

Who are they to talk badly about you? Right? I mean, what kind of person does that?

Think about how you feel.

Now feel that.

For me, it feels heavy. Almost suffocating. Like a heavy weight on my chest. Super uncomfortable.

Now tell yourself what you’re feeling. “This is how it feels to be angry (hurt, disappointed, etc.). I’m feeling angry.”

Take a few breaths while feeling that.

For me, I am now slowly able to breathe easier. I feel more relaxed and less agitated. I don’t feel that weight anymore.

I’m ready to let it go.

I’m no longer offended.

“I once heard a pastor say the Spirit is unoffendable. You don’t ever see Jesus with His tunic in a wad, do you? I don’t. He’s not reactionary. People questioned and doubted Him at every turn. But Jesus never threw His hands up or pouted or sought revenge.

He just continued to love people, never losing His focus, remaining steadfast on His mission.

Jesus is our model. As we mold our life around Him, we become less concerned with being right or being liked.”

Frank Powell

Again, you don’t have to be angry to seek justice. That’s something I keep telling myself over and over!

I feel like such a mess that I have to deal with all of this, but I’m hoping my transparency will help someone out there.

One of the best books I’ve read on this topic that was so helpful to me is Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. He’s incredibly funny (which I love) but he speaks TRUTH about this subject. Bottom line: if we want to live as mature followers of Jesus, we need to get over ourselves!

If you can relate, what are some of the ways that you buffer or maybe you have a way to deal with being offended? If so, please share!