I realize that Mandisa didn’t write the song Overcomer with me in mind, but truly, I am an Overcomer when it comes to having a fear of hospitality.
I used to be terrified of people stopping by my house unannounced. If we hosted someone for dinner, I would spend days getting my house clean. I would spend hours finding the perfect recipe. I prepared and I was ready (but still afraid).
But having someone just drop by? Um no.
This fear (and dread) ended one day when I had my entire dining room table covered in some random craft project. My kitchen was a mess, I was a mess. The doorbell rang and I froze.
I immediately dropped to the floor and commando-style, crawled across my living room over to the window so I could peek and see who it was.
Was this some stranger trying to sell me something? No. It was my GOOD friend. But I was embarrassed, so I pretended I wasn’t home. Silently waiting for her to walk away, wishing she would give up ringing the bell. I wanted to scream “Just go away, I’m not home!”
I mean really! What on earth? How prideful to be so concerned about being perfect in her eyes. And I knew it was prideful and wrong to do that and was so mad at myself for being such a chicken.
Aside: Hello! God has a sense of humor to give me a non-profit that is all about hospitality!
I prayed about it because I sincerely wanted to change. I asked God to help me overcome this fear of hospitality and forgive me for being so prideful.
God was faithful.
As an introvert, I still struggle with having people over but it’s not because of what my house looks like or whether I’ve combed my hair. I still struggle to find the time to have friends over.
I no longer dread people dropping in, it’s a huge weight that was taken off my shoulders and it’s all because of God’s grace.
God changed me so now I just open up my doors and say “Come on in, I’m so glad you’re here!” and mean it.
