During this storm I have sometimes found it very difficult to hear from the Lord. There is so much going on in my head that I have to force myself to be quiet.
My husband sometimes stares off into space and when I ask what he is thinking he says “Nothing.”
I WISH I knew how to do that!
What I have had when I’m “in the zone” is some amazing truths. In the zone for me means when I am ministering to someone, being ministered to or alone for a few minutes.
When this storm began to rage my mom came into my bedroom and broke down. She apologized for doing so but it was in that moment of comforting and assuring her that the Lord gave me some of His great truths about any adversity in life.
As my mother was telling me she was sorry that I was going through this and I needed to lean on them (family) if I needed to, God spoke to me.
God let me know she was right.
I do not tend to share my weaknesses with other people. As a first born, I have always been independent and felt the need to be strong. I thought “This is my cross and I have to bear it right now.”
What God told me in my heart was “Yes, but even Jesus needed help carrying His cross for a moment.”
It made it okay for me to be weak sometimes and reach out for help.
When Peter was sinking, Scripture says he cried out and Jesus IMMEDIATELY grabbed him. What I have learned is that the best advice I can give anyone in a storm is to cry out and ask for help when you need it.
During days of weakness and darkness in this experience, the only thing that made me feel better was going to a quiet place and being in God’s presence. Sometimes I don’t know what to pray so I just lay in my closet and listen to worship music and let it feed my spirit.
To survive any storm I would say RUN do not walk to HIM. He will IMMEDIATELY reach out and grab you to lift you up!
Another truth God gave me in that same conversation was that this was only temporary. We hear that all the time. “Do not let your temporary circumstance become a permanent situation.”
Let me tell you that I fully understand how hard it is to see past the temporary circumstance when it feels like this. I have felt like this cross is so heavy that I do not know how to see past it.
Sometimes we have to carry the cross.
What God shared was that yes, sometimes we have to carry the cross for a moment but we do not have to be NAILED to it because Jesus was. Everything in this circumstance was nailed to the cross except for me! Jesus paid with His blood so that the tumor and my tears could be nailed to that cross with Him.
That day when Jesus was crucified I was healed. The Bible says that by His blood I was healed. Not by medication or surgery or anything else.
He may have me walk out that process and go down those roads to minister to others along the way but I am healed because of His blood! Nothing and no one can convince me otherwise. I am here as His willing vessel. I told Him to use me and He did.
He allowed me to carry this cross for a moment so that I could remind myself and others that we NEVER have to be nailed to it!
Have you ever felt like you were carrying the cross? If so, how did you deal with it?
