I realize that Mandisa didn’t write the song Overcomer with me in mind, but truly, I am an Overcomer when it comes to having a fear of hospitality.
I used to be terrified of people stopping by my house unannounced. If we hosted someone for dinner, I would spend days getting my house clean. I would spend hours finding the perfect recipe. I prepared and I was ready (but still afraid).
But having someone just drop by? Um no.
This fear (and dread) ended one day when I had my entire dining room table covered in some random craft project. My kitchen was a mess, I was a mess. The doorbell rang and I froze.
I immediately dropped to the floor and commando-style, crawled across my living room over to the window so I could peek and see who it was.
Was this some stranger trying to sell me something? No. It was my GOOD friend. But I was embarrassed, so I pretended I wasn’t home. Silently waiting for her to walk away, wishing she would give up ringing the bell. I wanted to scream “Just go away, I’m not home!”
I mean really! What on earth? How prideful to be so concerned about being perfect in her eyes. And I knew it was prideful and wrong to do that and was so mad at myself for being such a chicken.
Aside: Hello! God has a sense of humor to give me a non-profit that is all about hospitality!
I prayed about it because I sincerely wanted to change. I asked God to help me overcome this fear of hospitality and forgive me for being so prideful.
God was faithful.
As an introvert, I still struggle with having people over but it’s not because of what my house looks like or whether I’ve combed my hair. I still struggle to find the time to have friends over.
I no longer dread people dropping in, it’s a huge weight that was taken off my shoulders and it’s all because of God’s grace.
God changed me so now I just open up my doors and say “Come on in, I’m so glad you’re here!” and mean it.
God does have a wonderful sense of humor! It is awesome how you are now so welcoming to the idea of people dropping by unexpectedly now!
This is something I needed today! So often I am worried and afraid to “open the door” and I need start following this a little closer.
I love hosting people, but I totally get what you mean when you say you hate when things are in disarray and someone just pops on over. So nerve-wracking! But I love your takeaway too- God is using you to be a host and provide a place where people can feel comfortable just coming to because they’re there to spend time with YOU! 🙂
God certainly does have a sense of humor! When we moved into our new house I had one neighbor who dropped by unannounced 2 times in a row. He is a young retiree and the first time he found my kitchen flooded by my two prek boys who had discovered the water dispenser in the fridge. The next time my boys answered the door without me knowing it and I was in a bathrobe (JUST a short bathrobe). After the last time he hasn’t knocked on our door since!
I love this insight! I am such an extrovert that I LOVE hosting nearly all of the time- but I think this is so important for folks who are more introverted. Thanks for sharing!
I completely get wanting your home to be clean and presentable, and like you, I learnt to let go a little. My co-worker told me once that she tells her guests, “this is our home, we live here.” Aka if you see some clutter, it’s fine.. and you know you have some at your house too. 🙂 And that has always stuck with me.
YES! We need to realize that God’s grace covers our imperfections and that we need to allow others to see how He works through that.
Omg I totally relate! While I love having people over, I don’t like when people just drop by without letting me know first haha.